Being a parent means showing up. You wanna be there for all the little moments—school plays, sports games, and yeah, field trips. That’s the stuff that sticks with you, for them and for you. It’s about letting your kids know, “I got you.”
But sometimes, your past don’t let you move how you want to.
I found that out real quick when I tried to sign up to chaperone my son’s school field trip. Seemed simple—fill out a form, agree to the background check, and wait for the green light. But nah, they hit me with the “thanks, but no thanks.”
Apparently, me being a felon means I can’t even ride the bus to the museum with my kid.
Breaking It Down for My Son
I couldn’t lie to him. That ain’t how I parent. So, I sat him down and told him the truth.
“Look, Daddy messed up a long time ago,” I said. “I got in trouble and had to go to prison for it. I’ve worked hard to fix my life, but sometimes stuff like this still comes back around.”
He looked at me with that face kids make when they’re trying to figure something out. “So, because of that, you can’t come on the trip?”
Man, hearing him say it hit me in the chest. He wasn’t mad, just confused. Like, “Why can’t my dad come? Other kids’ parents are going, so why not mine?”
It Hits Different
Let me tell you, it ain’t easy knowing you can’t be there for your kid because of something you did years ago. I’ve put in the work, I’ve built a life, but all it takes is a school policy to remind you of who you used to be.
And yeah, it hurts. It hurts knowing I’ll miss out on moments like this. It hurts seeing other parents go while I gotta stay back. It’s like they’re saying, “We see you’ve changed, but we still don’t trust you.”
It’s one thing for the world to keep judging you, but when it affects your kid? That’s a whole other level of pain.
Showing Up Where I Can
But here’s the thing—I can’t let it stop me from being the dad I want to be. I might not be able to sit on the bus or hold a clipboard on a field trip, but I’m still gonna show up. When he gets home, I’m the one asking, “How was it? What did you see? What was your favorite part?”
I might miss a field trip, but I’m not missing out on him.
And don’t get it twisted—I’m still mad about it. It’s wild that I can’t chaperone my own kid’s school trip, even after turning my whole life around. I’ve paid my dues and then some, but policies like this keep throwing it in your face.
This Ain’t Just About Me
Here’s what people don’t get: this ain’t just about me, it’s about all the parents out there trying to do better. Folks who’ve made mistakes, paid their debt, and are trying to be present for their kids. Why should our kids miss out because of stuff that happened before they were even born?
I’m raising my son to know the truth—not just about me, but about how the world works. He knows I love him, and he knows I’ll do whatever I can to be there for him. But it’s hard when you’re trying to be a good parent, and the system is still telling you, “Not good enough.”
Wrapping It Up
Look, I can’t change the rules right now, but what I can do is keep showing my son that I’m here. I tell him I love him every day. I hype him up, let him know he’s got me in his corner. And yeah, I’m still salty about the field trip, but I’m not gonna let it stop me from being the dad he deserves.
To all the other parents out there with a past, keep showing up. They might not let us on the bus, but we’re still gonna make sure our kids know we’re riding for them. Every single day.
“My hustle is writing-I am a writer!”
-Michael Corey Emanuel