Aight, let’s keep it real: when it comes to “closure,” most people think it’s somethin’ only women care about. You know, the whole cryin’-in-the-club, writin’-in-a-journal, “I’m healin’, king!” vibe. But what about us? Nah, I’m talkin’ ’bout the dudes out here grindin’, actin’ like we ain’t got scars from relationships that left us 
sideways. We out here stuntin’ like we don’t care, but deep down? Sometimes a dude need closure too.
Let me take y’all back to my own story. When I was locked up, my girl at the time ghosted me—no letter, no visit, no “why.” Just silence. For years, I carried that confusion like a brick in my chest. I’d front like, “I’m good, I’m movin’ on,” but nah. Real talk? Closure ain’t just about movin’ on—it’s about understandin’ what the hell happened so you don’t drag that baggage into yo’ next chapter.
The Weight of Unspoken Truths
Society loves to paint dudes as emotionless robots. “Man up!” “Why you trippin’ over some old shit?” But here’s the tea: not knowin’ why somebody walked away can eat at you. It’s like tryna solve a puzzle with half the pieces missin’. Was it me? Was it them? Was it timing?
I used to think askin’ for answers made me look weak. Like, “I’m a hustler—I ain’t got time for feelings.” But that’s cap. Closure ain’t weakness—it’s clarity. And without it, you risk bleedin’ old pain into new relationships. Trust me, I almost messed things up with my wife ’cause I was still walkin’ ’round with that “don’t trust nobody” energy from my past.
Why Dudes Struggle to Ask for Closure
On the real: a lot of us don’t even know how to ask. We’ll drown the pain in work, gym gains, or late-night IG scrollin’ instead of facin’ it. But here’s why that don’t work:
- Unresolved hurt turns into resentment (ask me how I know).
- You start projectin’ old fears onto new love (my wife called me out on this quick).
- It keeps you stuck in the past when you tryna build a future.
Plus, society tells us dudes ain’t supposed to “need” nothin’ emotional. But that’s a lie. You can’t rebuild relationships—with partners, family, or even yourself—if you ain’t healed what broke you.
How to Find Yo’ Closure (Without Lookin’ “Soft”)
- Speak Yo’ Truth—Even If Yo’ Voice Shakes
Hit ’em up. Text, call, meet up—whatever. Say, “Aye, I ain’t tryna rekindle nothin’, but I need to understand what went down.” If they don’t respond? At least you spoke yo’ peace. Closure comes from within too. - Write the Letter You’ll Never Send
Grab a notebook and let all that anger, confusion, or sadness out. No filter. Burn it after if you want. Sometimes just acknowledgin’ the pain is the first step to lettin’ it go. - Talk to a Homie Who Gets It
Find somebody who won’t hit you with that “You still cryin’ over her?” nonsense. Real ones listen without judgment. - Let Go of the Script
Closure don’t always come wrapped in a bow. Sometimes it’s just realizin’, “They wasn’t for me, and that’s okay.”
Why Dudes Struggle to Ask for Closure
Let’s keep it funky: a lot of us don’t even know how to ask. We’ll drown the pain in work, gym gains, or late-night IG scrollin’ instead of facin’ it. But here’s why that don’t work:
- Unresolved hurt turns into resentment (ask me how I know).
- You start projectin’ old fears onto new love (my wife called me out on this quick).
- It keeps you stuck in the past when you tryna build a future.
Plus, society tells us dudes ain’t supposed to “need” nothin’ emotional. But that’s a lie. You can’t rebuild relationships—with partners, family, or even yourself—if you ain’t healed what broke you.
Closure is a Hustle Too
Y’all know I’m all about that hustle life. But here’s the thing: healing is the ultimate grind. It’s daily work—choosin’ to forgive, to reflect, to grow. And when you finally get that closure? It’s like unlockin’ a new level of freedom.
I ain’t gon’ lie—when I finally asked my ex why she dipped, her answer wasn’t some deep revelation. She said, “I was scared.” That’s it. But hear me: those three words lifted a weight I’d been carryin’ for years.
Final Word: It’s Okay to Not Be Okay
To all my dudes out here rebuildin’ relationships—with y’all partners, kids, or y’all selves—remember this: wantin’ closure don’t make you weak. It makes you human. You ain’t gotta stay stuck in the past, but you do gotta honor yo’ journey.
So next time somebody tries to hit you with that “Why you still trippin’?” nonsense, just say: “I’m healin’. Mind your mother fucking business!”
“My hustle is writing—I am a writer!